Still No Remote...Comcast Call #3 - Bryan

user Jen_ has entered room
jen>I want a new remote control.
analyst Bryan.33941 has entered room
Bryan.33941>Hello Jen_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Bryan.33941. Please give me one moment to review your information.
Jen>Hi. Want to make a pretty girl happy?
Bryan.33941>Hi, Jen!
Jen>I just want a new remote.
Bryan.33941>I understand that you want to request for remote replacement.
Bryan.33941>Is that correct?
Jen>Yep. That is all that I want in the whole wide world. Easy to please. That is me.
Bryan.33941>Just to inform you, you have the option to pick up your order at your nearest local center, have the equipment shipped to you or have a technician to install them for you. Please let me know which is most convenient for you.
Jen>I want you to stick it in a box and bring it to the post office...or have Zappos ship it. Pony Express. I don't care.
Bryan.33941>Would you like me to process the remote replacement with a one time shipping fee of $17.95?
Bryan.33941>Sure, not a problem.
Bryan.33941>For security verification and the protection of your account, may I please have your full Comcast Account Number and the last four digits of your Social Security Number?
Jen>Bryan. Please review my extensive history. I want a remote. Do you know the definition of remote? Ironic.
Jen>My SS# digits are xxxx. My Comcast number...I think you have that. Bryan.
Bryan.33941>Yes, I am now processing the remote replacement order as your request.
Bryan.33941>Thank you for that. Please stay online.
Jen>I like tv. I mean...I LIKED tv.
Jen>Seriously, is there a waiting list for remotes?
Jen>Does one have to qualify?
Bryan.33941>No, to set proper expectation remote replacement request will be deliver to your mailing address with 3-5 business days.
Jen>I think I should cancel Comcast. I just need Atari. I like Atari
Jen>Did you ever play Pong? Or Asteroids? Ms. Pacman?
Jen>Do you remember The Go-Gos? Did you have a mohawk or rubber bracelets? I did. I had hair shelves on my right side. Edgy and timely then. Weird and hard to believe now.
Bryan.33941>Jen, if you want an specific remote type, you will need to contact your local office for them to provide you the remote control that you need to have.
Jen>Seriously? I just want a normal remote. Anything that turns my tv on and off and up and down. Really.
Jen>Bryan. How hard is it?
Bryan.33941>I understand, that is why I am now processing your request, as soon as I completed the order, you will have your remote within 3-5 business days as the normal shipping process.
Bryan.33941>Would you like me to process order?
Jen>I would love it. Asteroid Man.
Bryan.33941>Thank you for that. Please stay online.
Jen>I'm here. Where are you? What country? What state of mind?
Bryan.33941>Our call center is located at Manila, Philippines, Jen.
Jen>I like the Philipines. Lucky. Warm
Bryan.33941>THank you, that is nice to know, I hope you can visit our country someday.
Jen>Bryan...I'd like to come visit. What is your address?
Bryan.33941>I am afraid that we are not allowed to provide my personal information as our operations policy, Jen.
Bryan.33941>By the way can I have the best phone number that you can be reach during the remote control delivery.
Jen>I can understand that. Can you imagine? Your friendly personality could attract droves to your doorstep. That could be awkward.
Jen>Wondering if I could make remote out of one of my sons old remote control cars.
Bryan.33941>I am sorry about that, but we only process order for your Comcast universal remote control.
Jen>Okay. Just send me a remote. Your favorite flavor. Whatever one is the most popular. That is the one that I want. Puhleeze.
Bryan.33941>I will only need your contact number that I will add on your request, just to make sure that you will be receiving the remote on time.
Jen>Really? True story? xxx-xxx-xxxx. Bryan. Promise?
Bryan.33941>Thank you for that. Please stay online.
Jen>Bryan. You aren't sounding any different than Jaymar or Christian. Sound different.
Bryan.33941>I have successfully process your remote replacement on your account, to set proper expectation you will have the replacement with 3-5 business days.
Bryan.33941>Are there any other questions that I might be able to help you with today?
Jen>No. I have been perfectly satisfied. Bryan.
Bryan.33941>I hope I was able to help you with all your concern. By the way, at the end of this chat, please feel free to answer customer satisfaction survey just to let us know the level of service provided you today. I will really appreciate your feedback.
Bryan.33941>Thank you for contacting Comcast! We appreciate your business!
Bryan.33941>Thank you for choosing Comcast, Jen.
Bryan.33941>Have wonderful day ahead!
Bryan.33941>If you need assistance in the future, please do not hesitate to contact us through Live Chat or E-Mail (available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week). Comcast also offers excellent FAQ and Help forums located at www.comcast.com to help you reach a resolution independently. Have a great day!

No Remote...Still

My remote isn't here. I had to call Comcast back.

user Jen_ has entered room
Jen>I want a new remote control.
analyst Christian.35346 has entered room
Christian.35346>Hello Jen_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Christian.35346. Please give me one moment to review your information.
Christian.35346>I will be more than happy to assist you about your concern today. Let me check my resources and get that information for you.
Christian.35346>I understand that you want a new remote. Let me help.
Christian.35346>Is this a replacement remote, Jen?
Jen>I ordered one a month ago. It never showed up. I talked to Jaymar on the 11th. Still no remote.
Christian.35346>I understand.
Jen>Do you?
Christian.35346>I am sorry for the inconvenience.
Christian.35346>For security verification and the protection of your account, may I verify the last 4 digits of your social security number please?
Jen>XXXX
Jen>Do you really understand? Do you watch TV without a remote?
Christian.35346>I know it is inconvenient not to have a remote while watching.
Jen>It's a different world today, Christian. If I'm drinking Chardonnay...grassy, not oak...I'm okay. If not. I miss my remote.
Christian.35346>We do have something in common.
Christian.35346>Let me process the remote delivery, Jen.
Christian.35346>It will be just one moment while I bring up the required information. Thank you for your patience.
Jen>I'm patient. People say that is my gift.
Christian.35346>That is a great gift though.
Christian.35346>I admire you.
Jen>I think I should light my tv on fire. Just get rid of it.
Christian.35346>That is a bad idea.
Jen>Sorry. You are right. No fire. Maybe just bubble wrap.
Christian.35346>*smiling
Christian.35346>One moment please.
Jen>i'm a hungry tiger. A cougar for the remote. Gimme my remote.
Jen>Roar.
Jen>Snarl.
Jen>(Tearing meat sound)
Jen>Christian?
Christian.35346>I am processing the remote.
Jen>Really?
Jen>Don't tease me.
Jen>I hate a tease.
Christian.35346>Yes.
Jen>Are you a Christian? Christian?
Christian.35346>It is true. Someone will be there to drop the remote.
Christian.35346>No.
Christian.35346>A catholic.
Jen>Catholic? In a cubicle? That is a series in the making. A Catholic in a Cubicle. Very Larry David.
Jen>Zappos can drop the remote. You order something from them and within 24 hrs they drop on your porch. It is like they are hiding in your bushes. Why can't Comcast do that? Why?
Christian>I am sorry for the inconvenience.
Jen>I could tell.
Christian.35346>I am processing it right now.
Jen>Still? You should call Zappos.
Jen>Thirsty?
Christian.35346>I am making sure that everything will be settled on the second request.
Christian.35346>I already processed the remote, Jen.
Jen>No way. Christian. Really? True?
Christian.35346>Yes.
Jen>Will I get two? One from Jaymar and one from you?
Jen>Will they be signed?
Jen>Can I sell them on ebay?
Christian.35346>One remote will be delivered.
Jen>I don't believe you..................
Christian.35346>I already noted the account about the previous remote order.
Jen>I want to decoupage it.
Jen>Fun.
Jen>Individual.
Jen>Where is my little friend?????????????
Christian.35346>Is there anything else?
Jen>Wink wink?
Jen>I guess that's it. Christian.
Christian.35346>Christian.35346 has left room