TODAY THEY BROKE ME

Running small business while raising 3 small kids. Super fun and seamless. Joke.

Issues:
No clean underwear for husband.
No milk, soap and/or tp. Basic staples.
Labradoodle gets dreads.
Estelle's underwear is so small she has a wedgie.
Charles gets more stitches than FF in the Burning Bed from unsupervised play.
Merritt gets diaper rash from 3-hour rides in car.
Small but normal signs of spreading yourself too thin... Today was entirely something else.

I usually try not to bring more than one kid to ANY client's house or seamstress pick up. One is manageable. You can bribe them and all is good. Two or more...not so much. Well, today was an exception. I had 2 yr. old M:
in the back and swung by to pick up 5 yr. old C:
from Montessori. We head to my sweet seamstress' house... I pull up in my once stolen and once totalled Suburban. I jet in to quickly pay my bill and pick up my pillows. I return to the car. C has unbelted M and they are running around the car. Movie on, windows open with this ungroomed and bearded dog hanging out the window.
With the FROG on the passenger seat (longer story)...the grand dame decorator of town pulls up JUST THEN to pick up her order. She meets me and bursts out laughing. Me...circus on wheels...just trying to keep it together long enough to sell some pillows. I graciously meet and fleet. I catch a glimpse of her laughing in my rearview. She says she's been in my shoes long ago but I am not so sure... Humiliated, I leave...headed to my favorite client's house to drop off the loot. She is supposed to be at a hair appt. My plan is to leave The Bee Movie on in the car and jet in, drop off the pillows, snap a pic and jet out. Client is home. Pull up. Turn key off. She comes over and LOOKS INSIDE MY CAR!
I get out. Run in with pillows. Look out giant picture window. See Charles and Merritt unbuckled roaming freely in car. See Merritt double over open window. Run down stairs. YELL AT CHARLES. Save Merritt. Fix hair. Look at client with tight strained smile. RUN back in house. Labradoodle barking furiously for no apparent reason. Snap QUICK picture of perfectly calm household free of boogers and shoe scuffs. Momentarily drift off into fantasy of enjoying THIS---
Run back out. Charles has fished out old warm Coke from back of car. Opens it and puts on console. Truly Scrumptious (inbred Labradoodle) leaps over console and spills Coke (future fly paper) everywhere. Hide Coke spill from client by soaking up Coke spill with special Bon Point blanket from France. Leave to buy 90 crickets for frog same client gave me yesterday (Hopper).
Came home and poured this:

OMG. Strangely I might get up and do it all over again tomorrow.

Grey Gardens

I don't know what came over me. I bought these 2 chairs. The raccoons and cat feces were extra.

Road Trip

I hit the road today looking for a little decorator's pick-me-up. I took my former assistant with me on her last assignment. She screamed at me the whole way up and back... Even with Merritt as a handicap I acquired a pair of Century Bergeres...


...screaming out for Jim Thompson's Pebble and about 7 more plucked ducks worth of feathers. I also found 1 teeny blanc de chine lamp and 1 teeny potential blanc de chine lamp. Not bad.


It's been said before...I have a thing for lamps and chairs. What can I say? They find me. Mama needs a drink, though. That trip was hard on the ears.

View video of assistant appearing rational here.

Sweet Suzanis

I have bought 5 suzanis from ebay. They are all archived in a drawer somewhere...next to the 26 yard roll of pastel ikat fabric I bought from Somewhere-Istan. The suzani cake my husband had made for me was my favorite, though. He's a pretty clever guy.

Feeling Horny

I know it is not for everybody. I know it has been done to death. What can I say? When I peek into my kids' bathroom and see those horns with those Larsen curtains...I like it. A lot.

Madeleine Peyroux

Madeleine Peyroux is the sexy musical gal I always wished I was.
GET YOUR MADELEINE GROOVE ON HERE.

TEXTURE

Sneak peak of big project I am in the middle of... Phillip Jeffries grasscloth and Rose Tarlow curtains in the master bedroom. CAN YOU EVEN STAND IT?

Italian Settee

I am donating this settee to a local auction to benefit Volunteers in Medicine but I told the Chair that if she doesn't pick it up soon I'm keeping it. This bench was like Silkwood before I had it schelacked to seal in the chipping lead paint. I have such a crush on Groves Bros. fabric that I had some pillows made for it out of their Monferato in Pear. Simple cream linen and Samuel & Sons flat braid. Totally gorgy. I hope some rich childless woman buys it for lots of money.

Jen West Design at SoHaute

Well...adorable Nicole over at SoHaute profiled me this week. She was sweet enough to interview me. It was a great excuse to photograph my house in its current state. She also included some pictures of my former house when it was published in the March 2005 issue of Cottage Living. I didn't realize how much OLD stuff that I have until I saw the word vintage describing just about everything. The funny thing is that since those photos were taken 2 bedrooms have taken on a whole new look. Am I a lunatic disguised as a designer or a designer disguised as a lunatic. The jury is out.

So...check out my house via her blog here.

Patti's Place

So...I have finally started my own blog. It has taken forever. Not because it is hard but because I have NO EXTRA TIME. Wow. I do love my life right now, though. Great kids, husband, dog, house, career, etc... Just busy.

Well...here is a picture of my first big job. My client bought a condo, finished the condo, hated the condo and started all over. That is where I came in. My client set the tone when she called to tell me that she had just bought an old Murano chandelier in NY. Not a cotton candy chandelier. A really simple and elegant clear Murano chandelier. My favorite. Then she called to tell me that she had some incredible embroidered Chinoiserie panels but they were falling apart. What could we do? I love this lady. Well, I ended up framing them in plexiglass boxes to preserve the embroidery and original silver leaf frames. I love these so much. They are spectacular. When looking at fabrics at my house she had fallen in love with my vintage chairs that I had recovered in Robert Kime's Susani. Can we get 2 more, she asked? Of course, we can. Ebay! I also just love, love, love the naughty little Opium Smoker over the fireplace that showed up next. Well, you get the picture. Dream client. Dream job. Patti...you were the best first client a girl could ask for... Thanks.