This is my actual Live Chat exchange today with Jaymar at Comcast. I just wanted a new remote. 48 1/2 minutes later... His canned responses are priceless.
user>Jen_ has entered room
Jen>I want a new remote control.
analyst Jaymar.34554 has entered room
Jaymar.34554 >Hello Jen_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Jaymar.34554. Please give me one moment to review your information.
Jaymar.34554>Hi. I will be more than happy to help you with your concerns today.
Jen>I ordered a new remote control and it never showed up.
Jaymar.34554>I understand that you have not received your remote control. Is this correct, Jen?
Jen>Yes.
Jaymar.34554>Thank you for clarifying that for me.
Jaymar.34554)>I understand it can be frustrating when your order did not come on time.
Jaymar.34554>I apologize for the inconvenience this has caused you.
Jaymar.34554>Rest assured that I am willing to help you find a solution and we can work through this together.
Jaymar.34554>By the way, how are you doing today?
Jen>Good. I'd be better if I had a remote control.
Jaymar.34554>I am glad to know that you are doing good.
Jaymar.34554>For the safety of your account, may I please have the last four digits of the Social Security Number listed on the account?
Jen>xxxx
Jaymar.34554>Thank you.
Jaymar.34554>When did you order for the new remote, please?
Jen>Probably 3 weeks ago. I just need a new one.
Jaymar.34554>Thank you for clarifying that for me.
Jaymar.34554>Jen, I will be happy to place an order for remote for you. There will be a shipping fee for this. Will that be okay with you?
Jaymar.34554>Are you still there?
Jen>Yes.
Jen>I want it.
Jaymar.34554>Thank you.
Jaymar.34554>Okay.
Jaymar.34554>Please be inform that you will receive the remote in 3-5 business days.
Jen>Thank you.
Jaymar.34554)>You are welcome.
Jen>I am a large woman who finds it difficult to walk to the television. I love Oprah and The View and am excited that I won't have to move anymore.
Jaymar.34554>Kindly verify the address where the remote will be sent. Also, please provide an email address where the tracking number will be sent.
Jen>I am big.
Jaymar.34554>I understand, Jen. The remote surely makes our viewing more convenient.
Jen>I live at xxxxxxxxxx Eugene Oregon 97405. My email is jenxxxxxxx@comcast.net
Jen>I am enormous. Big as a house.
Jaymar.34554>Thank you for that very helpful information.
Jen>Giant.
Jaymar.34554>May I please put you on hold for two to three minutes as I process your request?
Jen>Yes.
Jaymar.34554>Thank you.
Jen>Gargantuan.
Jaymar.34554>I apologize for the delay. I will need more time to process your request. May I please put you on hold for another two to three minutes?
Jen>I actually need to rest. Can you finish without me?
Jaymar.34554>Please stay online, Jen.
Jen>I'll try.
Jaymar.34554>Thank you.
Jaymar.34554>I apologize for the delay.
Jaymar.34554>I am receiving an error upon processing your order.
Jen>How much longer?
Jen>I am hungry.
Jen>Starving.
Jen>Famished.
Jen>I want ribs and shortcake. I love the food channel.
Jaymar.34554>Thank you for patiently waiting.
Jaymar.34554>I apologize for the wait.
Jaymar.34554>I have successfully processed your order for remote control.
Jen>Thank god.
Jaymar.34554>You will receive the remote in 3-5 business days.
Jaymar.34554>It was a pleasure chatting with you. Is there anything else that I can assist you with? I am more than willing to help you.
Jen>Do you have a girlfriend?
Jaymar.34554>Yes, I have.
Jaymar.34554>Do you have other concerns that I can assist you with? I will be glad to further help you.
Jen>Sad. I guess that will be it. Bye bye Jaymar.
analyst Jaymar.34554 has left room
