Sunday, October 11, 2009

Jaymar.34554


This is my actual Live Chat exchange today with Jaymar at Comcast. I just wanted a new remote. 48 1/2 minutes later... His canned responses are priceless.


user>Jen_ has entered room
Jen>I want a new remote control.
analyst Jaymar.34554 has entered room
Jaymar.34554 >Hello Jen_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Jaymar.34554. Please give me one moment to review your information.
Jaymar.34554>Hi. I will be more than happy to help you with your concerns today.
Jen>I ordered a new remote control and it never showed up.
Jaymar.34554>I understand that you have not received your remote control. Is this correct, Jen?
Jen>Yes.
Jaymar.34554>Thank you for clarifying that for me.
Jaymar.34554)>I understand it can be frustrating when your order did not come on time.
Jaymar.34554>I apologize for the inconvenience this has caused you.
Jaymar.34554>Rest assured that I am willing to help you find a solution and we can work through this together.
Jaymar.34554>By the way, how are you doing today?
Jen>Good. I'd be better if I had a remote control.
Jaymar.34554>I am glad to know that you are doing good.
Jaymar.34554>For the safety of your account, may I please have the last four digits of the Social Security Number listed on the account?
Jen>xxxx
Jaymar.34554>Thank you.
Jaymar.34554>When did you order for the new remote, please?
Jen>Probably 3 weeks ago. I just need a new one.
Jaymar.34554>Thank you for clarifying that for me.
Jaymar.34554>Jen, I will be happy to place an order for remote for you. There will be a shipping fee for this. Will that be okay with you?
Jaymar.34554>Are you still there?
Jen>Yes.
Jen>I want it.
Jaymar.34554>Thank you.
Jaymar.34554>Okay.
Jaymar.34554>Please be inform that you will receive the remote in 3-5 business days.
Jen>Thank you.
Jaymar.34554)>You are welcome.
Jen>I am a large woman who finds it difficult to walk to the television. I love Oprah and The View and am excited that I won't have to move anymore.
Jaymar.34554>Kindly verify the address where the remote will be sent. Also, please provide an email address where the tracking number will be sent.
Jen>I am big.
Jaymar.34554>I understand, Jen. The remote surely makes our viewing more convenient.
Jen>I live at xxxxxxxxxx Eugene Oregon 97405. My email is jenxxxxxxx@comcast.net
Jen>I am enormous. Big as a house.
Jaymar.34554>Thank you for that very helpful information.
Jen>Giant.
Jaymar.34554>May I please put you on hold for two to three minutes as I process your request?
Jen>Yes.
Jaymar.34554>Thank you.
Jen>Gargantuan.
Jaymar.34554>I apologize for the delay. I will need more time to process your request. May I please put you on hold for another two to three minutes?
Jen>I actually need to rest. Can you finish without me?
Jaymar.34554>Please stay online, Jen.
Jen>I'll try.
Jaymar.34554>Thank you.
Jaymar.34554>I apologize for the delay.
Jaymar.34554>I am receiving an error upon processing your order.
Jen>How much longer?
Jen>I am hungry.
Jen>Starving.
Jen>Famished.
Jen>I want ribs and shortcake. I love the food channel.
Jaymar.34554>Thank you for patiently waiting.
Jaymar.34554>I apologize for the wait.
Jaymar.34554>I have successfully processed your order for remote control.
Jen>Thank god.
Jaymar.34554>You will receive the remote in 3-5 business days.
Jaymar.34554>It was a pleasure chatting with you. Is there anything else that I can assist you with? I am more than willing to help you.
Jen>Do you have a girlfriend?
Jaymar.34554>Yes, I have.
Jaymar.34554>Do you have other concerns that I can assist you with? I will be glad to further help you.
Jen>Sad. I guess that will be it. Bye bye Jaymar.
analyst Jaymar.34554 has left room

24 comments:

  1. omg, needed to laugh, thank you.
    Liz

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  2. I am crying.
    Thank you so much for posting this!

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  3. I am large. I contain multitudes.

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  4. you just made me laugh for the first time in like three days. Thank you for posting this.

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  5. Let us know when the remote comes, and if there are any treats inside.
    pve

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  6. HILARIOUS! You should be a joke writer on late night television... but I'd stay away from David Letterman. I've heard some rumors about him.

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  7. you are hi-larious. thank you.

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  8. you are hi-larious. thank you.

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  9. Bravo my dear, Bravo!!! You always crack me up.

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  10. What I really think, is that you are absolutely hystrical!!! I can always count on a good laugh when I read your blog. Thank you so much for that. Good luck on the remote delivery.
    Kerry

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  11. You are insane. That may be one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. It's possibly time for you and I to take another trip to the grocery store - I think you're ready to rock the intercom.

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  12. OUTSTANDING. my monday has been made. thanks.

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  13. I think I just peed in my pants...that is the BEST convo with a help desk I have ever read, ever!

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  14. hey jen, what are you doing for the rest of your life... i know your married and all, but that post was beyond!!! thanks

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  15. OMG Jen, seriously, you crack me up! This is HILARIOUS!

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  16. Comcast is the devil. I could get on my soapbox about them, but I won't. I'm glad you had a little fun with their online support.

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  17. OHMYGOSH. HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I almost peed my pants.

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  18. Like I said....laugh out loud! I like your approach much better than mine. I think I have a "red mark" on my file with Comcast because the last exchange I had with them involved the tech support lady saying "Mam, I understand that you are upset however your fowl language is not helping matters." My repsonse "Really? Because it sure is bleep-ing helping me!" Click.

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  19. I am dying laughing (at my desk)!!! Thank for for this... I loved it. Might try this trick next time I am transferred to India. :)

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  20. I just stubbled onto your blog for the first time today. We need to meet and become BFF! I thought I was the only one with THIS kind of sense of humor. I LOVVVVEEEE IT!

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  21. That was the best ever. You know Jamar printed it out on his end and passed it all around the cubicals. Too funny.

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  22. I, too, just stumbled across your blog today and laughed so hard at this post that I copied it and emailed it to a bunch of people to give them a giggle!

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