This is my actual Live Chat exchange today with Jaymar at Comcast. I just wanted a new remote. 48 1/2 minutes later... His canned responses are priceless.
user>Jen_ has entered room
Jen>I want a new remote control.
analyst Jaymar.34554 has entered room
Jaymar.34554 >Hello Jen_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Jaymar.34554. Please give me one moment to review your information.
Jaymar.34554>Hi. I will be more than happy to help you with your concerns today.
Jen>I ordered a new remote control and it never showed up.
Jaymar.34554>I understand that you have not received your remote control. Is this correct, Jen?
Jen>Yes.
Jaymar.34554>Thank you for clarifying that for me.
Jaymar.34554)>I understand it can be frustrating when your order did not come on time.
Jaymar.34554>I apologize for the inconvenience this has caused you.
Jaymar.34554>Rest assured that I am willing to help you find a solution and we can work through this together.
Jaymar.34554>By the way, how are you doing today?
Jen>Good. I'd be better if I had a remote control.
Jaymar.34554>I am glad to know that you are doing good.
Jaymar.34554>For the safety of your account, may I please have the last four digits of the Social Security Number listed on the account?
Jen>xxxx
Jaymar.34554>Thank you.
Jaymar.34554>When did you order for the new remote, please?
Jen>Probably 3 weeks ago. I just need a new one.
Jaymar.34554>Thank you for clarifying that for me.
Jaymar.34554>Jen, I will be happy to place an order for remote for you. There will be a shipping fee for this. Will that be okay with you?
Jaymar.34554>Are you still there?
Jen>Yes.
Jen>I want it.
Jaymar.34554>Thank you.
Jaymar.34554>Okay.
Jaymar.34554>Please be inform that you will receive the remote in 3-5 business days.
Jen>Thank you.
Jaymar.34554)>You are welcome.
Jen>I am a large woman who finds it difficult to walk to the television. I love Oprah and The View and am excited that I won't have to move anymore.
Jaymar.34554>Kindly verify the address where the remote will be sent. Also, please provide an email address where the tracking number will be sent.
Jen>I am big.
Jaymar.34554>I understand, Jen. The remote surely makes our viewing more convenient.
Jen>I live at xxxxxxxxxx Eugene Oregon 97405. My email is jenxxxxxxx@comcast.net
Jen>I am enormous. Big as a house.
Jaymar.34554>Thank you for that very helpful information.
Jen>Giant.
Jaymar.34554>May I please put you on hold for two to three minutes as I process your request?
Jen>Yes.
Jaymar.34554>Thank you.
Jen>Gargantuan.
Jaymar.34554>I apologize for the delay. I will need more time to process your request. May I please put you on hold for another two to three minutes?
Jen>I actually need to rest. Can you finish without me?
Jaymar.34554>Please stay online, Jen.
Jen>I'll try.
Jaymar.34554>Thank you.
Jaymar.34554>I apologize for the delay.
Jaymar.34554>I am receiving an error upon processing your order.
Jen>How much longer?
Jen>I am hungry.
Jen>Starving.
Jen>Famished.
Jen>I want ribs and shortcake. I love the food channel.
Jaymar.34554>Thank you for patiently waiting.
Jaymar.34554>I apologize for the wait.
Jaymar.34554>I have successfully processed your order for remote control.
Jen>Thank god.
Jaymar.34554>You will receive the remote in 3-5 business days.
Jaymar.34554>It was a pleasure chatting with you. Is there anything else that I can assist you with? I am more than willing to help you.
Jen>Do you have a girlfriend?
Jaymar.34554>Yes, I have.
Jaymar.34554>Do you have other concerns that I can assist you with? I will be glad to further help you.
Jen>Sad. I guess that will be it. Bye bye Jaymar.
analyst Jaymar.34554 has left room
omg, needed to laugh, thank you.
ReplyDeleteLiz
I am crying.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for posting this!
Too funny, that left me crying!
ReplyDeleteI am large. I contain multitudes.
ReplyDeleteyou just made me laugh for the first time in like three days. Thank you for posting this.
ReplyDeleteLet us know when the remote comes, and if there are any treats inside.
ReplyDeletepve
HILARIOUS! You should be a joke writer on late night television... but I'd stay away from David Letterman. I've heard some rumors about him.
ReplyDeleteyou are hi-larious. thank you.
ReplyDeleteyou are hi-larious. thank you.
ReplyDeleteBravo my dear, Bravo!!! You always crack me up.
ReplyDeleteWhat I really think, is that you are absolutely hystrical!!! I can always count on a good laugh when I read your blog. Thank you so much for that. Good luck on the remote delivery.
ReplyDeleteKerry
You are insane. That may be one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. It's possibly time for you and I to take another trip to the grocery store - I think you're ready to rock the intercom.
ReplyDeleteOUTSTANDING. my monday has been made. thanks.
ReplyDeleteI think I just peed in my pants...that is the BEST convo with a help desk I have ever read, ever!
ReplyDeletewell, clearly we were separated at birth.
ReplyDeletehey jen, what are you doing for the rest of your life... i know your married and all, but that post was beyond!!! thanks
ReplyDeleteOMG Jen, seriously, you crack me up! This is HILARIOUS!
ReplyDeleteComcast is the devil. I could get on my soapbox about them, but I won't. I'm glad you had a little fun with their online support.
ReplyDeleteOHMYGOSH. HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I almost peed my pants.
ReplyDeleteLike I said....laugh out loud! I like your approach much better than mine. I think I have a "red mark" on my file with Comcast because the last exchange I had with them involved the tech support lady saying "Mam, I understand that you are upset however your fowl language is not helping matters." My repsonse "Really? Because it sure is bleep-ing helping me!" Click.
ReplyDeleteI am dying laughing (at my desk)!!! Thank for for this... I loved it. Might try this trick next time I am transferred to India. :)
ReplyDeleteI just stubbled onto your blog for the first time today. We need to meet and become BFF! I thought I was the only one with THIS kind of sense of humor. I LOVVVVEEEE IT!
ReplyDeleteThat was the best ever. You know Jamar printed it out on his end and passed it all around the cubicals. Too funny.
ReplyDeleteI, too, just stumbled across your blog today and laughed so hard at this post that I copied it and emailed it to a bunch of people to give them a giggle!
ReplyDelete