This is my actual Live Chat exchange today with Jaymar at Comcast. I just wanted a new remote. 48 1/2 minutes later... His canned responses are priceless.
user>Jen_ has entered room Jen>I want a new remote control. analyst Jaymar.34554 has entered room Jaymar.34554 >Hello Jen_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Jaymar.34554. Please give me one moment to review your information. Jaymar.34554>Hi. I will be more than happy to help you with your concerns today. Jen>I ordered a new remote control and it never showed up. Jaymar.34554>I understand that you have not received your remote control. Is this correct, Jen? Jen>Yes. Jaymar.34554>Thank you for clarifying that for me. Jaymar.34554)>I understand it can be frustrating when your order did not come on time. Jaymar.34554>I apologize for the inconvenience this has caused you. Jaymar.34554>Rest assured that I am willing to help you find a solution and we can work through this together. Jaymar.34554>By the way, how are you doing today? Jen>Good. I'd be better if I had a remote control. Jaymar.34554>I am glad to know that you are doing good. Jaymar.34554>For the safety of your account, may I please have the last four digits of the Social Security Number listed on the account? Jen>xxxx Jaymar.34554>Thank you. Jaymar.34554>When did you order for the new remote, please? Jen>Probably 3 weeks ago. I just need a new one. Jaymar.34554>Thank you for clarifying that for me. Jaymar.34554>Jen, I will be happy to place an order for remote for you. There will be a shipping fee for this. Will that be okay with you? Jaymar.34554>Are you still there? Jen>Yes. Jen>I want it. Jaymar.34554>Thank you. Jaymar.34554>Okay. Jaymar.34554>Please be inform that you will receive the remote in 3-5 business days. Jen>Thank you. Jaymar.34554)>You are welcome. Jen>I am a large woman who finds it difficult to walk to the television. I love Oprah and The View and am excited that I won't have to move anymore. Jaymar.34554>Kindly verify the address where the remote will be sent. Also, please provide an email address where the tracking number will be sent. Jen>I am big. Jaymar.34554>I understand, Jen. The remote surely makes our viewing more convenient. Jen>I live at xxxxxxxxxx Eugene Oregon 97405. My email is email@example.com Jen>I am enormous. Big as a house. Jaymar.34554>Thank you for that very helpful information. Jen>Giant. Jaymar.34554>May I please put you on hold for two to three minutes as I process your request? Jen>Yes. Jaymar.34554>Thank you. Jen>Gargantuan. Jaymar.34554>I apologize for the delay. I will need more time to process your request. May I please put you on hold for another two to three minutes? Jen>I actually need to rest. Can you finish without me? Jaymar.34554>Please stay online, Jen. Jen>I'll try. Jaymar.34554>Thank you. Jaymar.34554>I apologize for the delay. Jaymar.34554>I am receiving an error upon processing your order. Jen>How much longer? Jen>I am hungry. Jen>Starving. Jen>Famished. Jen>I want ribs and shortcake. I love the food channel. Jaymar.34554>Thank you for patiently waiting. Jaymar.34554>I apologize for the wait. Jaymar.34554>I have successfully processed your order for remote control. Jen>Thank god. Jaymar.34554>You will receive the remote in 3-5 business days. Jaymar.34554>It was a pleasure chatting with you. Is there anything else that I can assist you with? I am more than willing to help you. Jen>Do you have a girlfriend? Jaymar.34554>Yes, I have. Jaymar.34554>Do you have other concerns that I can assist you with? I will be glad to further help you. Jen>Sad. I guess that will be it. Bye bye Jaymar. analyst Jaymar.34554 has left room