Thursday, November 5, 2009

Still No Remote...Comcast Call #3 - Bryan

user Jen_ has entered room
jen>I want a new remote control.
analyst Bryan.33941 has entered room
Bryan.33941>Hello Jen_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Bryan.33941. Please give me one moment to review your information.
Jen>Hi. Want to make a pretty girl happy?
Bryan.33941>Hi, Jen!
Jen>I just want a new remote.
Bryan.33941>I understand that you want to request for remote replacement.
Bryan.33941>Is that correct?
Jen>Yep. That is all that I want in the whole wide world. Easy to please. That is me.
Bryan.33941>Just to inform you, you have the option to pick up your order at your nearest local center, have the equipment shipped to you or have a technician to install them for you. Please let me know which is most convenient for you.
Jen>I want you to stick it in a box and bring it to the post office...or have Zappos ship it. Pony Express. I don't care.
Bryan.33941>Would you like me to process the remote replacement with a one time shipping fee of $17.95?
Bryan.33941>Sure, not a problem.
Bryan.33941>For security verification and the protection of your account, may I please have your full Comcast Account Number and the last four digits of your Social Security Number?
Jen>Bryan. Please review my extensive history. I want a remote. Do you know the definition of remote? Ironic.
Jen>My SS# digits are xxxx. My Comcast number...I think you have that. Bryan.
Bryan.33941>Yes, I am now processing the remote replacement order as your request.
Bryan.33941>Thank you for that. Please stay online.
Jen>I like tv. I mean...I LIKED tv.
Jen>Seriously, is there a waiting list for remotes?
Jen>Does one have to qualify?
Bryan.33941>No, to set proper expectation remote replacement request will be deliver to your mailing address with 3-5 business days.
Jen>I think I should cancel Comcast. I just need Atari. I like Atari
Jen>Did you ever play Pong? Or Asteroids? Ms. Pacman?
Jen>Do you remember The Go-Gos? Did you have a mohawk or rubber bracelets? I did. I had hair shelves on my right side. Edgy and timely then. Weird and hard to believe now.
Bryan.33941>Jen, if you want an specific remote type, you will need to contact your local office for them to provide you the remote control that you need to have.
Jen>Seriously? I just want a normal remote. Anything that turns my tv on and off and up and down. Really.
Jen>Bryan. How hard is it?
Bryan.33941>I understand, that is why I am now processing your request, as soon as I completed the order, you will have your remote within 3-5 business days as the normal shipping process.
Bryan.33941>Would you like me to process order?
Jen>I would love it. Asteroid Man.
Bryan.33941>Thank you for that. Please stay online.
Jen>I'm here. Where are you? What country? What state of mind?
Bryan.33941>Our call center is located at Manila, Philippines, Jen.
Jen>I like the Philipines. Lucky. Warm
Bryan.33941>THank you, that is nice to know, I hope you can visit our country someday.
Jen>Bryan...I'd like to come visit. What is your address?
Bryan.33941>I am afraid that we are not allowed to provide my personal information as our operations policy, Jen.
Bryan.33941>By the way can I have the best phone number that you can be reach during the remote control delivery.
Jen>I can understand that. Can you imagine? Your friendly personality could attract droves to your doorstep. That could be awkward.
Jen>Wondering if I could make remote out of one of my sons old remote control cars.
Bryan.33941>I am sorry about that, but we only process order for your Comcast universal remote control.
Jen>Okay. Just send me a remote. Your favorite flavor. Whatever one is the most popular. That is the one that I want. Puhleeze.
Bryan.33941>I will only need your contact number that I will add on your request, just to make sure that you will be receiving the remote on time.
Jen>Really? True story? xxx-xxx-xxxx. Bryan. Promise?
Bryan.33941>Thank you for that. Please stay online.
Jen>Bryan. You aren't sounding any different than Jaymar or Christian. Sound different.
Bryan.33941>I have successfully process your remote replacement on your account, to set proper expectation you will have the replacement with 3-5 business days.
Bryan.33941>Are there any other questions that I might be able to help you with today?
Jen>No. I have been perfectly satisfied. Bryan.
Bryan.33941>I hope I was able to help you with all your concern. By the way, at the end of this chat, please feel free to answer customer satisfaction survey just to let us know the level of service provided you today. I will really appreciate your feedback.
Bryan.33941>Thank you for contacting Comcast! We appreciate your business!
Bryan.33941>Thank you for choosing Comcast, Jen.
Bryan.33941>Have wonderful day ahead!
Bryan.33941>If you need assistance in the future, please do not hesitate to contact us through Live Chat or E-Mail (available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week). Comcast also offers excellent FAQ and Help forums located at to help you reach a resolution independently. Have a great day!


  1. Hilarious! I will giggle every time I have to deal with a difficult foreign helper person just because of you. BTW, my job consists of dealing with difficult foreign people 78.8% of the time. So you have just made my days. lol

  2. i need a remote from comcast as well and these posts have made me very hesitant to order one. i am scared jen. truly scared. i would be a lot more offensive than you.

  3. really make it stop. does radio shack have any remote options. the pain hurts me here!

  4. Oh yes! Same with similar company, we've had triple bills from a phone company, which shall remain nameless, after we had canceled service for two month!!!
    R.O.B.O.T.S.! Every phonecall sounded like that, with no results...

  5. What is wrong with them? Shouldn't you be able to walk into one of their service centers, the same place you would return a cable box, and they'd give you a new one? I mean in theory that would work. But you never know with stupid Comcast. Somehow they got to the top of the list of places to work in MA, my guess is because they essentially have a monopoly on the city of Boston.


Tell me what you really think.