Friday, October 30, 2009

Naomi's Lampshades

Today I drove 200 miles to visit the greatest lamp shade shop in Lake Oswego called Naomi's.

My client and I put 5 lamps in a box, 2 in towels, belted 1 in a toddler seat and wrapped one in a forgotten lifejacket. We were good to go.

The gals that run this place do not mess around. They will disassemble, reglue, rewire and reshade your lamp while you wait. They like power tools. I am sure you must write Complete Asskicker on your job application if there is any hope of you being employed here.

These acrylic buddha lamps from C. Damien Fox I found for my client really needed the perfect shades...

...and we found them...

...and then some...

I always isn't time to go home until the car is full.

Thursday, October 29, 2009


People ask me all of the time about buying things online. Is there risk involved? Uh, most definitely. Especially when the large amount of money involved belongs to somebody else. So, I rely on the reputations of established dealers if I can't see and touch the item. Here is one example.

Space and Ouiji needed a new dining table and chairs. I found a set of 6 French bridge chairs from Antiques on Old Plank Road.
He had two more that were similar so we had those upholstered to match.

Then I spoke to the owner. Richard, I said, we like the chairs but we need a table. Can you help me out? Apparently, they have a huge custom shop. Handy. He sent me lots of options.

Pretty...but too sweet.

..which was made for Katie Lee...the ex Mrs. Billy Joel.

Very Giacometti. Nice but not right for us... I believe this was made for one of Barbara Barry's clients.

Now we are getting somewhere. Trestle. We like. A bit too fussy, though. it. We'll take the table but my client doesn't do blondes... we had this trestle table built and had it stained brunette to compliment the chairs. Here it is naked in the shop before the staining process...

The chairs don't all quite match but, oddly, that makes us like them a little bit if they were acquired. Kind of like everything else in the house of Space and Ouiji.

Including Lulu the dog. Who was found at the Piccadilly flea market. Really. THE FLEA MARKET. Isn't that hilarious?

Monday, October 26, 2009

Passion Flower Design

My friend Jewel Murphy owns Passion Flower Design. This store is an incredibly interesting, stylish and whimsical mix of flowers, gifts, bedding and found objects. Jewel is a total character. She certainly was born with the gift of buying. It is a special store and Eugenians are lucky to call it their own.

Oh, look. It's the quail feather clad boy.

Swing by on your bike...slow down...and stick your hand out. Insta-hostess gift on the fly.

Or not. You might miss the party.

Celebrate diversity in the tribal corner. Third World is so hot. Everybody is doing it these days.

This table began its career at my friends Courtney and Brady's wedding as the cupcake table...and from here on it will forever be known as the Infamous Cupcake Table...which stands to reason.

The PFD girls make great displays.

I really, really, really want these lacquered turquoise wall units if I ever get my very own all to myself grown up space/office/fort.

I used to bring my daughter Estelle in here when she was two and she would walk around and fill up her stroller with all of this eye candy. We would have to unload it at the door when she wasn't looking. A total Winona.

Jewel has great ivies and ferns and trailing plants...

Not like the one that I had to stare at in the dentist's office this morning. It was so bad that I demanded extra nitrous just to erase the image from my mind. Forever.

I come here when I need a fresh flower hit.

Orchids recharge my battery...

They always have the best handmade wreaths...

The suzani trend that won't die...for good reason.

Hey, add 20 pounds of sterling and stones and this could be sooo Iris Apfel...

Come check out the store. It's a real gem.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

The Spider House

This is my neighbor's house. I can't compete. It's too perfect.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

No Remote...Still

My remote isn't here. I had to call Comcast back.

user Jen_ has entered room
Jen>I want a new remote control.
analyst Christian.35346 has entered room
Christian.35346>Hello Jen_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Christian.35346. Please give me one moment to review your information.
Christian.35346>I will be more than happy to assist you about your concern today. Let me check my resources and get that information for you.
Christian.35346>I understand that you want a new remote. Let me help.
Christian.35346>Is this a replacement remote, Jen?
Jen>I ordered one a month ago. It never showed up. I talked to Jaymar on the 11th. Still no remote.
Christian.35346>I understand.
Jen>Do you?
Christian.35346>I am sorry for the inconvenience.
Christian.35346>For security verification and the protection of your account, may I verify the last 4 digits of your social security number please?
Jen>Do you really understand? Do you watch TV without a remote?
Christian.35346>I know it is inconvenient not to have a remote while watching.
Jen>It's a different world today, Christian. If I'm drinking Chardonnay...grassy, not oak...I'm okay. If not. I miss my remote.
Christian.35346>We do have something in common.
Christian.35346>Let me process the remote delivery, Jen.
Christian.35346>It will be just one moment while I bring up the required information. Thank you for your patience.
Jen>I'm patient. People say that is my gift.
Christian.35346>That is a great gift though.
Christian.35346>I admire you.
Jen>I think I should light my tv on fire. Just get rid of it.
Christian.35346>That is a bad idea.
Jen>Sorry. You are right. No fire. Maybe just bubble wrap.
Christian.35346>One moment please.
Jen>i'm a hungry tiger. A cougar for the remote. Gimme my remote.
Jen>(Tearing meat sound)
Christian.35346>I am processing the remote.
Jen>Don't tease me.
Jen>I hate a tease.
Jen>Are you a Christian? Christian?
Christian.35346>It is true. Someone will be there to drop the remote.
Christian.35346>A catholic.
Jen>Catholic? In a cubicle? That is a series in the making. A Catholic in a Cubicle. Very Larry David.
Jen>Zappos can drop the remote. You order something from them and within 24 hrs they drop on your porch. It is like they are hiding in your bushes. Why can't Comcast do that? Why?
Christian>I am sorry for the inconvenience.
Jen>I could tell.
Christian.35346>I am processing it right now.
Jen>Still? You should call Zappos.
Christian.35346>I am making sure that everything will be settled on the second request.
Christian.35346>I already processed the remote, Jen.
Jen>No way. Christian. Really? True?
Jen>Will I get two? One from Jaymar and one from you?
Jen>Will they be signed?
Jen>Can I sell them on ebay?
Christian.35346>One remote will be delivered.
Jen>I don't believe you..................
Christian.35346>I already noted the account about the previous remote order.
Jen>I want to decoupage it.
Jen>Where is my little friend?????????????
Christian.35346>Is there anything else?
Jen>Wink wink?
Jen>I guess that's it. Christian.
Christian.35346>Christian.35346 has left room

The $100 Chair

I bought this chair with a client for $100. Her husband hates that we spiff things up. He knows it will cost a lot more and take forever. Well...that's fairly accurate.

We added one new down cushion flown in from Manhattan, some walnut colored lacquer and 7 yards of Suzanne Rheinstein's Paisley Linen for Lee Jofa.

...and voila. A $100 chair no more...but an heirloom for their kids...and that's pretty cool.

Two for You, One for Me

Today I met with an old friend who needs some house help. She has 2 year old twins and her house is currently twin proof...which is to say that it is basically empty and safe...which I get but it is totally time to get things prettified...for the sake of mommy's mental health.

The girl is on a tight budget so she needs to make some good decisions. She is currently paralyzed but she has to start somewhere. We had a little talk. No, you aren't painting your great room turquoise. If you buy a can of turquoise paint call your doctor and refill your prescription. Then call me and maybe we'll use it to paint a little room. Powder room...maybe. Let's just get started. We aren't buying Sotheby's heirloom pieces but this won't be crap.

Go get a big seagrass rug to define the living room area.

Let's order a Lee Industries sofa.

Let's get you a Red Egg Octagonal Coffee Table.

Get some great cheap ikat pillows from

No, you aren't getting Pottery Barn grommet curtains. You want real curtains with real pleats. Grown up curtains. We'll use an inexpensive fabric and have yummy and full curtains made...maybe a teeny ticking stripe or a plain linen with a trim down the leading edge. Spend on labor. Save on fabric. Like Nicole did from SoHaute!

Dining room. Get a bamboo shade from Smith and Noble. Inside mount.

Dining table...I like this one from Wisteria... We can find a bunch of antique chairs that don't match.

We also need a mirror, a console, a pair of lamps, etc...

Then we need to start finding things at vintage stores. Value plus character. If we can buy 2 found things per month the house will be looking better in no time. I went to an antique store and this is what I found for her...

October's Two Things:

Vintage mercury glass lamp...$95 bucks. Super duper chic and shiny. This lamp doubles as a mirror for lipstick checks while chasing dwarf terrorists.

1970s 48" round gold framed mirror to fill up the large empty wall in the dining room. Big and round. Like she was when she was pregnant. $350.

Reverse painted Asian art on glass. $130. This one's for me...because it whispered 'take me home'.

So...okay, you little shits. There is a new decorator in town and her name is not Fisher Price. We need to learn how to respect mommy's pretty new things because pretty new things make mommy very happy...and everybody wants a happy mommy. Right?


Sunday, October 18, 2009


Thursday, October 15, 2009

The Energizer Project

Le Gracieux's Kirachi fabric finally showed up for the last three throw pillows for the sectional.

Worth the wait. Hand printed fabrics are the way to go if you have the dough. That pattern looks so pretty with Peter Fasano's little silk Brompton print.

The tiny powder room off of the laundry just needed a little of Zoffany's Cobble Printed grasscloth, a new Formica countertop and a custom verdigris bamboo framed mirror.